A Love That Moves Mountains

Have you ever been in love with a mountain? Have you ever taken a punch from a mountain? It doesn't surprise me that Taranaki would flee to his current abode after a solid hook from Tongariro. I bet he trains hard with his boys. Taranaki is a gentle lover and as it looks, a gentle fighter but cuz that's not the way to win the lady. At least in mountain battles.


I think Pihanga was the hottest curvacious mountain. All the boys were keen to court that bountiful mountain range. Two eligible bachelors Taranaki and Tongariro, pined for her. As males sometimes do, they battled.There was inevitably a lot of build up. "One outs, one outs". The battle was unarmed hand-to-hand combat. Oh I think they used storms, not sure if that's a weapon.


According to one source, Taranaki hooked his head off, but... that was the plan apparently. Tongariro then somehow used the opening he created to seize the victory with a right roundhouse ( I'm guessing). A right uppercut maybe.


To the victor go the spoils and Tongariro won the wahine. Not sure if it were one of those situations where she actually wanted to be with Taranaki and was forced to be with Tongariro or she actually preferred Tongariro.


Nevertheless, Tongariro won her.


The rest is history.

Taranaki then made his long and arduous, solo journey home. He wept tears of jealousy and sorrow until he was supposedly ensnared and trapped by the Pouakai ranges.


"Bro you'll be trapped in Stratford forever!" 


Difficult spot.


Manu #325: Bro he got trapped as

Manu #865: So trapped

Getting owned in a scrap to then cry while you pack your gears and leave for a foreign and distant land. On the way, you drop your guard again and end up getting trapped, while at your lowest point.


The Whanganui river was made from his tears to show his path, probably as a guilt trip to her. 


She made her choice. Tongariro's all good though. Taranaki now needs to find a new Mrs. 


Tough for him I suppose, you don't meet that many new mountains. 


Word on the street is that Taranaki plans to return, so living between the two mounts may be risky. Training regimes better be tight cause it might not be 'one outs' next time and I don't think Pihanga txts him so it might all be for nothing.


Judging by circumstances I'd say his plan would start with escaping the trap. From then he needs enough energy to then mission back for another battle, which would be tough as a standalone trip, without the challenge of escaping first.


Plan B: he frees himself and then waits for his energy to return before round two. During this wait time word would probably get to Tongariro about the upcoming scrap (through birds probably) giving the bros ample time to prepare.


Manu #222: Round two soon boys yeahh!

Manu #224: Far. I hope they use storms!

All in all Taranaki better be training hard as, cardio mainly. Plan C and one that I personally recommend: just chill. Times are hard g. Soak up your current spot and learn to live with the people in the area. Nga Ruahine(rangi) and Ngati Ruanui have your back, I can say this from personal experience, besides, mountains are overrated. They're mean but not worth losing two scraps and potentially facing an embarassing sitch with your ex who has moved on. Let the people climb you and don't put them in danger. Be a mountain not a flower.